I also hope that your ultimate goal is not to hear her say that you’re right. Being right can be an extremely lonely place. My goal is to connect on as many different emotional levels as possible and strengthen my relationship, not just win an argument. In addition to the Mississippi state baseball mascot shirt Apart from…,I will love this basics of gender among boring old biological men and women – which the other answers already covered – as an intersex person (a hermaphrodite, to be precise), I have thought a lot about what ‘gender’ means to me. Even though it is a very common question I got asked during interviews for magazines and even live talkshows, I have never been able to answer the question of whether I feel more male or female. As I pointed out during those interviews, as a supposed female individual with two brothers, I’m more technical than either of them. My younger brother and I are both empathic and can understand each other very well, whereas my other brother is far less gifted there.
As far as I’m concerned, ‘gender’ can refer either to one’s personally (i.e., unique per individual), or to the Mississippi state baseball mascot shirt Apart from…,I will love this role one is supposed to take up in society. Do I have a gender, in the first sense? I have a personality, yes. I also have preferences. Yet I’m not like other women or hermaphrodites. Before today, I intended to set up a small business with a friend. We had totally different views in direction as it turned out. It is a form of passive aggression, meaning ‘your views are unimportant here’. And it tells you that your goals are badly misaligned. If you argue with someone who thinks that gender is a social construct, and you force them to answer certain hard questions, you will find that they stop making sense after a certain point. For example, if I ask you, “Is it the case that sex has no effect whatsoever on behavior?” then you’ll have to answer “No” unless you’re crazy and think that people don’t have bodies, and endocrine systems, and so forth. But if sex affects behavior, then that means you can’t completely separate sex and gender. There is the argument about sex being a murky category, or a spectrum, but these kinds of arguments have two problems. First, they’re inevitably based on a continuum fallacy . Second, the number of people who are born with ambiguous sex is vanishingly small — less than 1% of the population. When someone is pointing to a tiny minority of cases to try and make an obvious dichotomy look like a spectrum, it is likely that they have some (ideological) motivation for doing so. The vast, vast majority of people are not born intersex, and this means that the vast, vast majority of people are born either male or female. It is also the case that biological sex affects behavior. These two facts are not really arguable, absent some very convoluted mental gymnastics and playing with definitions. If the vast majority of the population is born either male or female, and if biological sex affects behavior, then sex and gender cannot be totally separated.
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